Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
