He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
