so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
