i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
