i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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