I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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