All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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