Non-Jews are for practice
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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