i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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