I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
