she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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