Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
