Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
