Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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