Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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