just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
