Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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