Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
