and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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