you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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