he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
