Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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