Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
