Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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