Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(915): View more from Texas

Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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(541): View more from Oregon

Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...

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(757): View more from Virginia

She fuckin peed on me

(817): View more from Texas

Stay golden ponyboy

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(708): View more from Illinois

you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?

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(647): View more from Ontario

I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you

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(416): View more from Toronto

Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed

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