I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
