guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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