everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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