Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
