we have pet lesbian snakes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I want a musical about memes.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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