I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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