do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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