ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize