ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
