i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
