Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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