haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
