Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
