Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
