Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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