The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
