I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
