No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
