You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
