Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
