we're blogging at a bar
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
