Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
