That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Text me some of your sweat
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