Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't turn off my feet"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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