I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize