Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
