At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
