Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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