Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
foreskin is a definite game changer
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
