i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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