If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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